drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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