We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
