Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
