ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
