Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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