Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
