3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
