His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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