bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
