I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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