so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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