with your own penis?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
