It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
