im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
