there was a trapeze. enough said
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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