You made me cry and you don't even care
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
