I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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