Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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