Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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