just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
