guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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