Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
