i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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