You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
