woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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