it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
