Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i just google imaged poop.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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