I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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