She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Randomize
