4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
