I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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