Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
