I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
