I wannas sexs uuuuu
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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