what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
