oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
