You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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