I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
