No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
