do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
