also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
