I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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