Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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