I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
this boner is exhausting
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
