There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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