The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
