all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
