I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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