Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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