at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
we're making bets on your personal life
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
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