margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
