remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
