i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
