I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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