How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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