worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
