I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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