That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
