Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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