I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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