Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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