Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
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