We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
