Swine flu. Run for my life!
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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