I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Someone came in the potted fern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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