Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
